The Forgetory - Part 2

In my earlier post I staked my claim to the title of Britain’s Most Absent-Minded. As if to confirm my candidacy, driving back from delivering my speech to the media conference in Manchester, I managed to reach Gateshead before realising that I had left behind my briefcase, laptop, Blackberry, and wallet, which contained all my credit cards and cash.

Good old DHL: how would missing goods ever get back home without them? When I worked in London, there was a shelf kept at the Groucho Club for my lost items and my assistant used to pop in on her way to work to retrieve them. How I managed to produce primetime network series and run a multi-million pound business is beyond comprehension. I think it’s called having a good support system. And a wife.

On arriving home, I discovered that Jo had gone out and bought a new mattress for our bed. It's made of memory foam: perhaps she thinks it will somehow impregnate my brain.